It is really difficult to believe in big dreams: believing that you’ll make a million, that you’ll own a mansion, get your master’s degree or lose 60 pounds. The good news is that you don’t have to believe all of the time. In fact you don’t even have to believe most of the time. If you can manage to believe in your biggest dreams some of the time, then that’s enough to achieve them.
We shy away from dreaming big because we’re not convinced we really can do it. The thing about big dreams is that they are just that, so big that they’re impossible to believe. However, can I just point out that, again, this is not an either/or situation? It isn’t black or white.
To move towards your biggest dreams you only have to believe in the possibility of you achieving them enough to motivate you to take action on them. The more action you take to move towards them, the faster you’ll get there. This is closely linked to how much you believe.
If you base your chances of success on your past, you’ll find zero evidence that you’ll achieve your dream because you have never achieved it before. If you’d already achieved it, it wouldn’t be a dream, it would be a reality. So all big dreams exist without any evidence. Others might have achieved them, but you haven’t.
Let’s say you dream of making your first million dollars. Your mind could tell you: “You must be crazy! You’ve never made a million dollars before,” and it would conclude that you can’t. Because it lacks evidence that you can.
You’ll be looking at your past to tell you what’s possible and as you haven’t yet made a million, you’ll see no evidence of it being possible.
If you’ve already achieved your dream, you’ll have to create a new one to stretch yourself, to grow, to become more of who you. You’ll have to create one that is outside your comfort zone.
The first thing your mind will tell you is that you don’t know how to go about it. You don’t know how to create a million dollars because you have never done it before. And that thought will have you go around in circles.
The circle: creating more of the past
1. I have never made a million
2. Based on my past experience, I conclude that I can’t do it (this is what we call “being realistic” BTW)
3. I’ll better make my dream smaller so that I’ll know I can achieve it, a belief I base on the past
4. I create a reality instead of a dream
That’s how you create more of the past or a future that looks remarkably like the past. You have to go on faith instead of certainty, belief instead of evidence.
Anything worth dreaming about is outside your comfort zone because you’ll never have achieved it before so you cannot find any evidence that it’s possible.
You don’t know the HOW
You won’t know the how till you’ve done it. Once you’ll have made your million, you can tell us about how you did it but till then, you won’t know the how. Learning the how, not knowing the how, is your growth opportunity. You’re becoming the woman of your dreams. You’re stepping into who you are.
It is difficult to take action and to start learning without faith. When you don’t believe in your success, you’re not motivated to take action. When you manage to believe in the possibility of your dream, then you’re willing to take action.
Beliving some of the time
I think there’s a misbelief that people who achieve great things believe 100% in their success. If they manage to believe 100% of the time, it just means that they’re going to get there very quickly. It also means that if you only believe 50% of the time, you’ll get there but it may take longer. If you believe 0% of the time, you’ll never take any action towards your dream and it will stay a dream. Everything between the two is possible. So let me reiterate: you only have to believe some of the time to achieve your dreams. The more often you believe, the sooner you’ll see it happen.
Isn’t that fantastic news?
It means that you don’t have to go around believing in yourself and your dreams all of the time and that you can allow yourself to doubt. Phew. Doubt is normal. But when you look closer, you’ll see that it takes just as much effort to create the belief that you’ll fail as creating the one that you’ll succeed. Why not choose the latter?
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About the author:
Katrine Horn is a speaker and life coach who guides women to create the life of their dreams, to recognize their intrinsic value and release the illusion that life is a struggle. Katrine teaches women how to manage their emotions leaving them free to embrace opportunity when it comes their way. She helps them enter their Zone of Excellence where there are able to step aside to allow their highest good to find them.
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