Are you finding it difficult to admit to yourself that there's something you really want? You may be trying to persuade yourself that it isn't really that important so you talk yourself out ot it. Taking your dreams seriously is one of the most self-loving things you can allow yourself to do even when it feels scary so I came up with a dream workout for you to take yourself through.
When you allow yourself to take your dreams seriously and take a step towards them, you're flexing your dream muscles. With time, they will develop. Here are six questions that will give you a good stretch. Ask yourself:
Where am I indulging in confusion?
It's so easy to stop yourself taking action when you tell yourself that you don't know. You tell yourself that you don't know what to do, how to do it, when to do it etc. This is strictly speaking not true. You do know, but you're pretending you don't.
This allows you to let yourself off the hook. So ask yourself:
If I was an expert in this matter, what would I do? What would be my first action?
Remember, you don't need to know your second step to take your first step.
Then make a decision, follow through and stick to it.
Where am I avoiding disappointment?
You could be preventing yourself from taking any meaningful action because you're saying things like:
“It has never worked out in the past” or “I'm not sure I'll succeed”.
You could even be telling yourself that it's not worth the effort to take any action because you've tried it before and it didn't work/it works for other people, but not you…
If you want to stay at this, fine, but just know that you're protecting yourself from feeling disappointed. So what's wrong with being disappointed? Well, nothing, really; it's a feeling like any other and it will pass in 1 minute and 30 seconds if you allow yourself to feel it.
If you try to avoid feeling it, it'll stay with you forever, potentially, so better feel it deeply and then move on.
Taking action in the face of uncertainty can be daunting, but in life, there are no guarantees. If you're avoiding taking action because you don't believe you'll succeed, you could just be a little lazy, not wanting to make an effort for fear of not getting the result you desire. That's a whole other subject and I could go on with it for pages so I won't. Stop protecting yourself from feeling the disappointment, You can handle being disappointed, it's no big deal.
Where am I not tolerating imperfection?
You could be stopping yourself from moving in the direction of your dreams because “it” isn't perfect. Because it doesn't look the way you want it to look, something messy comes up and it doesn't feel nice.
If you're doing something you've never done before, it's unlikely to be perfect so if you want only perfection, you're right to stay put where you are, to keep doing the same things over and over again because anything new is bound to be messy.
There is tremendous relief to be had in allowing yourself, your actions, your thoughts and feelings not to be perfect. Try it out; let it go.
Where am I constructing false meaning?
When you take action, you'll immediately want to interpret the results of the action you've taken. If there aren't any, you'll use this as evidence that what you've been doing isn't working. Careful, if your results don't look the way you want them to look, it needn't mean what you make it mean.
You could be making no tangible results mean that you did something wrong, that you have to do something different, that you'll never get the results you desire. Just be aware that you could be constructing false meaning based on good evidence.
Let's imagine you take the train to a city where there is a murder! Your train ticket shows that you could have been on the scene of the crime, it's a possibility but it doesn't make it true. So ask yourself
“What if the meaning I'm making is totally wrong? What if it meant the opposite? What if it meant that I was doing exactly what is right? What if my results will show up in 2 hours, 2 months, 2 years?”
If you can make your results or lack thereof mean one thing, you can make them mean exactly the opposite. It doesn't require any more effort 😉
Where am I not trusting myself?
We've come full circle. My first question was: Where are you indulging in confusion? When you allow yourself to be confused, you have started doubting. It's human to doubt (one of those feelings again) so nothing wrong with that; just don't indulge, as I said. Move into trust, trust of yourself. To succeed, you need to trust yourself at least some of the time (read my blog post on Dreaming Big), not necessarily all of the time.
You're still here, walking the earth so you must be doing something right. Cultivate that trust in yourself. It's like a muscle, build it and it will get stronger and stronger.
Where am I not trusting the Universe?
Einstein famously said:
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”
It's no more difficult to believe in a friendly universe than in a hostile one. It's really up to you. Ask yourself: “What if my success was guaranteed?” Now what action would you take from there?
What if you couldn't fail? If you're able to let go of what you believe your results SHOULD look like, there can be no failure. All there can be is a step in your evolution.
Taking action towards your dreams and desires, gifting yourself the faintest possibility of living your dreams is what makes life worth living and allows you to evolve, to grow.
If you ignore your dreams, if you talk yourself out of them, you're effectively telling yourself that you don't matter and NOTHING could be further from the truth.
I made a gardening video to illustrate the principles I talk about in this blog post.
Feel free to Request a Life Re-Design Planning Session
About the author:
Katrine Horn is a speaker and life coach who guides women to create the life of their dreams, to recognize their intrinsic value and release the illusion that life is a struggle. Katrine teaches women how to manage their emotions leaving them free to embrace opportunity when it comes their way. She helps them enter their Zone of Excellence where there are able to step aside to allow their highest good to find them.
Join the Choosing Happiness FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ChoosingHappiness/
Request an appointment here.